While I have already had my major summer adventure of going to Europe on my honeymoon (more about that some other time), my pal Lizzie, i.e. the wild-haired English Gardener, is off on what else — a wild hair — not ususual for her. One of the Queens of salvage shopping, she’s a former designer for the Muppets and Steisand and God knows what else. She is WOMAN, hear her roar! There isn’t much of anything she can’t do — except deal with communication devices very well. Getting messages off her cell phone is a World Cup event.
Her new career is landscape designing, which she does with a master’s touch. A job derail for a time at a major chain Garden Center gave Lizzie way too much grief and misery,, so happily she’s now off and running with her own business. To prove it, yesterday she called me at about noon, when she was due to be over to catch part of the World Cup. “I’m not coming,” she said. “I’m in Salt Lake City on my way to Jackson Hole for a landscaping job.!” I squealed. “GREAT!!!! What a fabulous place to go!” “I’ll call you later to find out who won the game!” And that was that.
Later turned into this morning. “I hear the Italians won,” she said. “Yes, but not without a huge controvery and tres mal behavior. Where are you now?”
“I’m in Wyoming and going through all these weird little towns with funny names. A truck just drove past me with two huge recliners and a TV bigger than yours!” She’s mocking our newest member of the family: iTV — a 50-inch plasma that takes up our entire den. I think we’re going to face it out to the street and have our own Drive in or lawn theatre.
Lizzie continues — “And I’m passing one of those prefab houses that’s being hauled somewhere.” Ah. life in the redneck country. Wait til she finds the so-called restaurants with “Mexican Home Fries” on the menu — you know them as Tater Tots. “Yesterday I saw a sign that said ‘I support OUR presidnet and HIS troups.’ Guess my bumper sticker is coming off!” Hers reads: There’s No U in B-SH. She proudly made it herself.
“So I stopped in the Levi’s outlet and bought a T-shirt that i have on — it has a big cross and says Jesus is my Homeboy.” She laughed like the pen full of cackling chickens she has at home. And let’s not forget three dogs, several cats, pigeons, ducks, rabbits and visiting neighbor pets. Only Lizzie.
“Oh, and would you mind watering my potted plants in the front yard? I don’t want to lose them because I can still sell them. But lean over the porch or you’ll get soaked by the sprinklers when you turn on the hose,” she finished.
Duty calls. More tomorrow…